i have a new niece - now what? (book suggestions please?)

[yozhka]

Hi y'all!

I've never been on this board before or really had any experience with kids, but my brother and his wife just had a baby, and I feel like it's time for me to learn how to be a good auntie. I've now had the honor of babysitting several times and quickly come to realize that I have NO IDEA what to do with a baby. Bro and s-i-l are very laid back and give me practically no advice on what to actually DO with her. How do I play with her? What do I do when she starts crying? I'm starting to pick up little cues from her, but what are the good books that will teach me the basics so I can maximize my time with her? I want to learn what kinds of games are appropriate at what age, how I can be cultivating a good "other adult" relationship with her, stuff like that. Please excuse my extreme ignorance on the topic...

[mikan]

I'm an auntie too with limited experience but I've found that all babies are pretty different. Generally though, they like colorful toys that make sound, move, shiny lights, etc. You can also read board books to them - they like the sound of human voice. And I usually avoid doing "baby talk" with kids, but rather talk to them in regular English (so they get familiar with it) and always sound enthusiastic. When babies start crying, they may be hungry, cranky because it's nap time, need a diaper change, etc. so check their diaper, keep to the milk schedule, or try holding them and walking around to put them to sleep. They may be just bored, too. At young ages, I found that babies generally don't want to be put down and left alone - they want to be carried, and some even know if you're holding them and sitting - they want you standing up lol.
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[Figwit]

How old is your niece? Starting there will give me a better idea of what to suggest!
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[meexie]

[scarymonster]

I assume it's their first baby, so they probably don't have a lot of concrete ideas of what to do yet either!

Little babies are easy. They really just thrive on snuggles and singing and silly voices and for the first few months, literally anything is a toy. Lots of babies love being read to because they love to listen to voices, and developmentally it starts a really early connection between words and pictures and stories and voices and how all of those things come together. Most babies like looking at and feeling faces of people, or looking in mirrors. I know lots of babies like looking at pictures of other babies.

Since she is a Brand New Person you get to be an intrinsic part of her growing up and developing a personality, and that is exciting! It's pretty easy to start with holding the baby and talking to her and seeing how she responds. She will likely be fascinated just by staring at your face and hearing your voice. My biggest piece of advice is to take all of it in now because it is truly fascinating to watch a tiny squishy baby transform into a walking, talking little person.

Blueberry Girl by Neil Gaiman is an excellent book, an d listening to this makes me cry every time.

[Crumb]

I agree with figwit - how old is the baby? Playing with a newborn (which I assume your niece is) is very different than playing with a 4-month-old.

With a newborn, you basically do what scarymonster said: lots of holding and snuggling, and lots of talking (in your regular voice, I am VERY anti-baby talk). The Crumblette liked to look at patterns when she was tiny, so during tummy time i'd always put something with a bold graphic in front of her and let her stare at it (a soft toy or a piece of fabric, or a picture book). The Priddy Books are good for newborns. (Actually, the Crumblette loved the Priddy Books until she was, like, 2.)

Babies are pretty awesome, and they only stay babies for, like, 10 minutes. So enjoy the fun-size stage while it lasts. Every stage of a kid's development is remarkable to watch but there's something truly breathtaking about seeing a whole person's first few months on the planet. It's such an honor.

[yozhka]

Thanks for the suggestions everyone! My niece is actually 7 months now, and is getting easier to entertain and interact with than before, though I'm still finding it challenging. I watched her two afternoons this week while her mom was out of town, the first day my brother was working on a computer nearby and the second day I was on my own. She seemed a little bit like a puzzle to crack. Which toy would she be interested in and which one would she ignore? Would she like to be on her back or her tummy, sitting up or being held? How long would she like to do any of these activities before the blubbery tears would appear and what would make them disappear again? At one point I remembered that I had made her a mix cd for the new year with lots of folk songs, including Puff the Magic Dragon, and I think her mom's been playing it to her, so I put that on to play on my phone and she seemed pretty surprised and into it. I know she was also missing her mommy, so I'm not trying to complain that she wasn't the most engaging baby in the world or anything. It's just an interesting process, trying to guess what's going on in her head and in her body at any moment and how she's expressing it (or not) to me. Lots of times she just kind of stares at all the stuff I offer her and after a while starts crying. Which is cool, I can roll with it if that's what she needs to do. I guess as far as book suggestions I'm wondering if there's something that describes or gives ideas for games to play that interest babies at different phases - like I know peekaboo and making faces, but is there a locomotive game that would help her to practice whatever it is her body's trying to learn right now? I can tell she's trying to crawl but often just ends up in a crying faceplant that is truly epic. Thanks for letting me get that out. I feel better already :)

[caropop]

That's a funny age, because they're older enough to comprehend a lot but have no facilities to do anything! They can get bored. And they get fussy when they get bored--if she's not hungry or tired or in need of a new diaper, she's probably bored. That means it can get hard trying to keep her happy/entertained because she's going to be wanting new things and not just be sitting in one place.
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[yozhka]

[scarymonster]

If she's trying to crawl, figure out whatever her favorite toy is (at the moment at least!) and put it in front of her and inch it away to see if she'll try and follow. She will either find it hilarious or it will make her super angry :D

[knittykat]

All I can think of is peek a boo! They never get tired of that stuff!
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[Crumb]

Give her a full box of Kleenex and let her pull them all out. It will make a tremendous mess but I've never known a baby who didn't LOVE that game.

The Crumblette at that age was also really fond of knocking things over, like a stack of blocks. She LOVED to stand up holding onto a box, and knocking things off of it. (She could stand on her own at that age, though; it sounds like your niece isn't quite there yet.)

You could also give her a big soup pot, fill it will blocks or balls or something (making sure they won't fit in her mouth, though), and let her stir it with a wooden spoon. The Crumblette loved that, too.

[yozhka]

These are awesome suggestions, everyone, thank you! Keep em coming if you've got em.

[meexie]

I recommend not making it your job to keep baby entertained at all times. Babies can amuse themselves too; sometimes just being set up so they can see out a window is enough.

Nephew #3 has one of those puzzle toys where you put the different shaped blocks into the same shape hole in the lid. His idea of a good time is watching me put the blocks in, then letting him take off the lid and dump out the blocks. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Hey, it's better than "pick me up, now put me down" for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT.
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[racheli]

I second the peekaboo suggestion. L will be 2 this weekend, and it STILL cracks him up to no end. You can switch it up by hiding behind pillows, blankets, etc.

Also, "uppy go boom" - I don't know if anyone else calls it this - maybe it's just a "my family" thing. Anyway, you lie the baby (older baby with good neck control) on a couch or on the floor with pillows, pull them up gently by their arms and say "uppy go..." and then let them gently fall back onto the soft surface and say "BOOM!" Lots of babies like to be "scared" (at least, my kid did!) and will love the "BOOM!" part.
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