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mohawk

Joined: 12 Jan 2005 Posts: 1195 Location: Saint Louis
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Posted: Sep 13, 2011 9:11 pm Post subject: Infant ear piercing |
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What are your thoughts on piercing the ears of infants?
Is it mutilation? Is it adorable?
I have to admit, I really would love to pierce Ruby's ears and say it was for cultural reasons. Even though I am hispanic, no one in the family has chosen to pierce ears, so that would be not true... But I think pierced ears on baby girls are beyond cute! Is this so wrong? _________________ She believed she could, so she did. |
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highlow kitty
Joined: 24 Jan 2007 Posts: 1511 Location: not here
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Posted: Sep 13, 2011 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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LOL i was just talking about this! *
mine were pierced while i was being babysat and was returned in tears, by a woman in tears.
when i wanted to pierce my tongue but my mom wouldn't let me was the only time i was angry about it (i believe i also had petulant teen syndrome at the time ;))overall, i'd say i'm glad it was done so i got it over with and although i rarely wear earrings, it's nice to have the option
so 1 yes for earrings
*my boss asked when i got mine pierced, i told her the story and added 'i swear i'll never get her ears pierced without your permission. ... or give her gnarly bangs' _________________ And once you've seen it, keeping quiet, saying nothing, becomes as political an act as speaking out. -Arundhati Roy |
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Chupacabra

Joined: 03 May 2006 Posts: 1572 Location: Astoria, New York
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Posted: Sep 13, 2011 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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I think every parent has the right to make this decision for themselves (as with everything!)
I personally don't view it as mutilation. I just don't think it is necessary on a baby. I do not judge it though.
We've decided to wait until AJ says if she wants her ears pierced. I remember my mom making a big to-do over taking me to get mine done when I was about 4 years old and I would love to recreate a special day like that for AJ. _________________ Etsy!
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enzyme

Joined: 27 Jun 2005 Posts: 1517 Location: Seattle
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Posted: Sep 13, 2011 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Chupacabra wrote: |
| We've decided to wait until AJ says if she wants her ears pierced. I remember my mom making a big to-do over taking me to get mine done when I was about 4 years old and I would love to recreate a special day like that for AJ. |
This was my experience too. When I see babies with pierced ears, I don't feel like it's mistreatment or anything. I just feel funny about causing pain, however brief, to someone who doesn't understand what it's about and didn't ask for it. Plus I've always thought babies must pull on those little studs - do they? I fiddle with mine a lot, and I'm 28!
On the other hand, I always felt bad for friends whose parents made them wait until they were 12 or 14 or older. It seemed so arbitrary. I think that was a staple of creating a hard-ass parent character in kids' books in the 80s... _________________ Not into the whole brevity thing.
My site and blog
Zines and comics on Etsy |
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Chiquita

Joined: 24 Sep 2005 Posts: 1401 Location: Tejas
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Posted: Sep 13, 2011 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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I had mine pierced when I was about 4 and remember it hurting. Would have MUCH rather had it done when I was an infant and could quickly forget the pain. Had we had a little girl she would have had her ears pierced as a baby. I, obviously, think it is adorable and would do it in a heartbeat, adorable!
FYI - I did go through a period where I wouldn't wear earrings or anything remotely girly. Now I won't go out of the house without silver hoops in, I have them in various sizes. |
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BlueJedi Guest
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Posted: Sep 13, 2011 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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I don't view it as mutilation, but I also don't think it's right for a parent to make that choice for their child, since it is permanent.
I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 19. My mom never pierced my ears even though it was trendy because she didn't feel right doing that, because in her words "What if you didn't want pierced ears and I did that to you? It's a permanent decision and it's not my right to choose that for you."
As a kid I rolled my eyes and was super annoyed that I never got to wear earrings.
But now I get what she means.
I also wish I had had some kind of special ear piercing day, like for a birthday or something, as a kid, because that would have been really nice. Instead I went with my friend to Claires, and it was just kind of meh. Not to mention that I will never let an ear piecing gun near me ever again! My aunt pierced her own with thread, needle and ice cubes. My grandma went to the doctors and got hers done.
So if I have kids, I'll let them choose if they want it or not, and if they do, I'll take them for some kind of milestone thing so that it's special.
I also kind of think it reinforces gender stereotypes because they only ever pierce girl babies ears, not boys, at least that I've seen.
But I'm probably totally over thinking things and if I saw someone who had pierced their babies ears I wouldn't even think anything of it! |
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Chiquita

Joined: 24 Sep 2005 Posts: 1401 Location: Tejas
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Posted: Sep 13, 2011 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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| BlueJedi wrote: |
| I don't view it as mutilation, but I also don't think it's right for a parent to make that choice for their child, since it is permanent. |
Not to make light of this opinion, because I know many people feel it is mutilation, but we make LOTS of choices for our kids that are permanent. Thinking of it in that terms makes me laugh at all the permanent scars my parents left on me that have nothing to do with ear piercing. |
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Liat

Joined: 15 Apr 2004 Posts: 2012 Location: Calgary, Alberta
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Posted: Sep 13, 2011 11:35 pm Post subject: |
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I think its cute on kiddos, but I wouldn't/haven't had it done to Little Bit.
In a very very very (lemme stress that once more) very minor way, Mr. Tramp and I related to how we feel about circumcision. Which is doing something permanent to our kid without their having a say.
Also in regards to ear piercing, I took rubbish care of my own ear piercings when I was young (got my first ones at 8, last one this last year), and although I take better care of them now, I find its a pain in the butt. The thought of having to clean and care for piercings on a tiny kid makes me shudder.
If and when she decides she wants to have her ears pierced, I'll take Little Bit down to our proffessional piercing parlour and get it done there. But I'm very hopeful that she'll be of an age that she'll be able to either clean them herself or sit still for it. _________________ I truncated my name!
The Lover, The Lunatic and the Poet are of Imagination all compact. |
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midnightsky1686
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1546 Location: Seattle
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Posted: Sep 14, 2011 12:24 am Post subject: |
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I had mine done at about 12. I was really excited about it at the time. If I were to do it over I wouldn't get them pierced at all though.
I am also really glad I didn't have them pierced when I was younger, since I am not sure what that would have done along with my phobia of needles (started about age 6, and I know what caused it). Likewise, I have enough other scars (hands, scalp, feet) from needles when I was a baby that I am glad the scarring on my ears is from a different time period, if that makes sense in a kinda twisted way.
Just my .02. I have no problem with other people piercing younger though! _________________ Midnightsky Fibers- great knitting patterns!
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Croquette

Joined: 25 Jun 2004 Posts: 1010 Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Posted: Sep 14, 2011 1:30 am Post subject: |
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No judgement, but I guess I get a little sad when I see a baby girl with pierced ears. It has more to do with foisting gender norms/femininity on someone so young, in a way that is irreversible, and without any input from the child. I don't really see ear piercing as mutilation, but it's not 100% benign either.
| Chiquita wrote: |
| BlueJedi wrote: |
| I don't view it as mutilation, but I also don't think it's right for a parent to make that choice for their child, since it is permanent. |
Not to make light of this opinion, because I know many people feel it is mutilation, but we make LOTS of choices for our kids that are permanent. Thinking of it in that terms makes me laugh at all the permanent scars my parents left on me that have nothing to do with ear piercing. |
True, but ear piercing is purely cosmetic (it's not a medical or quality-of-life thing) and it can be done at any time in a person's life. I don't feel as strongly about this as I do about other issues, but it just seems to me that there's really no compelling reason to pierce a baby's ears. Mohawk, if you like the look of earrings on your kid, what about magnetic earrings or those fun stick-on ones?
I kind of think of it this way:
a) You pierce your baby's ears. Child grows up, likes having pierced ears. All is well.
b) You don't pierce your child's ears. Child grows up, doesn't want pierced ears. All is well.
c) You don't pierce your kid's ears. Kid grows up, wants pierced ears. They get their ears pierced. All is well.
d) You do pierce your kid's ears. Your child would rather not have pierced ears. They may or may not feel particularly strongly about this, but the fact remains that they aren't happy about it.
So, it just seems like there isn't any harm in not doing it, but there's potential for at least a slight amount of regret/disdain if you do the ear piercing. To me, this seems like a good enough reason not to do it. There are non-permanent ways to get the look of earrings, as I mentioned earlier.
My parents let me get my ears pierced when I was in 5th (I think) grade. I had been begging and begging them to let me do it forever! We didn't make a big deal or do anything special -- finally getting it done was exciting enough. I got a second hole in each ear at 16 (after more begging) and a third at 18 (when I was a grown up and could do whatever I wanted!!!). After all that begging, I never wear earrings anymore. :) |
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scarymonster Guest
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Posted: Sep 14, 2011 2:11 am Post subject: |
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I used to be a mall ear piercer. It sucked.
Please, please, please, please, pleaseeeeeeee don't pierce your baby's ears. Especially not in a mall.
1. Nothing is sanitary, unless you count a few quick swipes with an alcohol swab to be clean. It's not.
2. It is terrifyingly hard to get a baby to sit still and stay in the right position to get them even and lined up. It is nerve wracking. And the majority of people working those jobs don't particularly care if it is done clean, or right, or well.
3. It is absolutely horrendous to be the person that is piercing holes into a tiny little perfect baby. I hated myself every single time that I had to pierce someone because their parents wanted it.
4. *If* you are going to, please go to a professional piercing shop that uses hollow needles to remove the skin. Using a piercing gun is a terrible way to pierce- it hurts more, leaves more potential for scarring and kieloids. I could tell you horror stories of what I saw in the 6 months I worked there.
I had women who cussed me out because it was against our store policy to pierce anyone under 3 months. Someone brought in her two week old to get pierced, and did not possibly comprehend why it was a bad idea for her immune system.
Seeing little tiny kids look at me with fear and distrust because I had to punch holes in them was one of the worst feelings I've ever been through. Having to lie to a kid and promise them it wouldn't hurt, and then have them scream their heads off and watch their parents hold them down to get the other side? I felt like a fucking torturer. |
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milyssa

Joined: 07 Apr 2004 Posts: 2942 Location: Western Mass
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Posted: Sep 14, 2011 5:29 am Post subject: |
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Honestly? I think it looks SO FREAKING ADORABLE.
but I also don't think, when A and I have kids, I could make that decision for the pain for our baby.
My parents were the wait-until-you're-old-enough-to-take-care-of-it parents. I got to right before I turned 12 (my mom had gotten hers done at age 12, so that was my sole bargaining chip). I lost SO many earrings, and had trouble with healings. Lol. I have no idea what A and I might decide to do about this, and I have a feeling that when I bring this up tonight he will tell me that that decision is all me because he knows nothing about it, haha. _________________ With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. |
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killr
Joined: 13 Jul 2006 Posts: 1399
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Posted: Sep 14, 2011 7:04 am Post subject: |
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I dont know when I got my ears pierced but I know it wasnt before the age of 2 but it was still not my idea. I dislike having pierced ears because I dont wear earrings and I have little scars but Im not bitter about it.
My partner got his ears pierced on his own against his parents wishes at like 15 or 16.... he also doesnt like having his ears pierced... but again, its not really a big deal.
I understand the difference in consequences of your own decision vs consequences of a decision someone else made for you.
You mention Latin culture. Are you planning on raising her within the culture or are you just picking this one thing? Is there significance to piercing or is it just something that everyone does. Sorry if these are jerky questions but just things to think about. If you want to pierce, then pierce... but I wouldnt justify it with being Hispanic unless you are doing because you are Hispanic and not because it cute. |
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Chiquita

Joined: 24 Sep 2005 Posts: 1401 Location: Tejas
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Posted: Sep 14, 2011 7:16 am Post subject: |
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| killr wrote: |
| You mention Latin culture. Are you planning on raising her within the culture or are you just picking this one thing? Is there significance to piercing or is it just something that everyone does. Sorry if these are jerky questions but just things to think about. If you want to pierce, then pierce... but I wouldnt justify it with being Hispanic unless you are doing because you are Hispanic and not because it cute. |
I'm not sure what you mean by raising someone "within" a culture but being Latina I can toss in my 2 cents. In my family there is a general assumption that the little girls will have their ears pierced. There is no judgement at all if you don't. As far as I know this is just something everyone does.
Croquette is right, it is purely cosmetic. But I also feel there is value in continuing those traditions because they can make a child/person feel more connected to their cultural background as they get older.
For me, I grew up in a very mixed cultural area. We ate Mexican food growing up, because that's what Mom knew how to cook, but that's about where the connection to our background ended. My parents grew up in an era where being as white/caucasian as possible was a good thing. In my opinion they didn't pass on a lot of the history, they didn't even teach us to speak Spanish. Having my ears pierced was a small way I feel connected to my background.
(for the record, my ears were pierced at home with ice cube and needles.. they make great little earrings that have screw on backs for kids so I didn't lose to many earrings) |
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checkersumthing

Joined: 07 Apr 2004 Posts: 2940 Location: Montreal, Qc
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Posted: Sep 14, 2011 7:29 am Post subject: |
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| Chiquita wrote: |
| killr wrote: |
| You mention Latin culture. Are you planning on raising her within the culture or are you just picking this one thing? Is there significance to piercing or is it just something that everyone does. Sorry if these are jerky questions but just things to think about. If you want to pierce, then pierce... but I wouldnt justify it with being Hispanic unless you are doing because you are Hispanic and not because it cute. |
I'm not sure what you mean by raising someone "within" a culture but being Latina I can toss in my 2 cents. In my family there is a general assumption that the little girls will have their ears pierced. There is no judgement at all if you don't. As far as I know this is just something everyone does. my ears pierced was a small way I feel connected to my background.
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I don't know if you even have to attribute it to a specific culture, I think it's just generally accepted/expected in a lot of North American (and probably other areas too). I know that that is why I got mine done when I was a wee kid (probably around 4 or 5). While I'm sure my mom gave me a choice, I'm sure I went along with it to be like everyone else around me. And since then I got more piercings (ears and otherwise). And since then I've stopped wearing anything in any of those piercings, except for a pair of plain crystal studs on special occasions and even then I usually forget its even an option (I don't wear a lot of jewels). If my ears weren't pierced, I doubt I would have them done now. But do I regret that my mom had my ears pierced initially? Nope.
It's a personal thing. And I totally appreciate that you are considering it Mohawk.
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