Crafting Gifts for the Uncrafty Family

By: Heather Menicucci

There are so many crafts my fingers are just itching to get into – decoupage, beadwork, embroidery, crochet, origami. Holidays should be the perfect excuse to wander around the craft store for hours, eat dinner hunkered over the kitchen table surrounded by glue sticks, and waste away Sunday morning attached to my sewing machine, but this Christmas I‘ve come to a nasty realization. My hopelessly modern, Italian-American family is petrified of what handmade tokens of my love I might bestow on them this year.

When I told my mom, “I have to downsize Christmas this year,” she quickly replied “don’t worry, please don’t give us anything.” My dad asked where I was going one afternoon and when I told him “to get supplies for my Christmas gifts,” he simply said “uh-oh.” When I explained my handmade present plans to my grandma, she sweetly sighed, “you’re so cute.” To be fair, it’s not that they don’t appreciate my lovingly handcrafted concoctions, they just remember the time in high school when I painted a plaster angel for my friend Rachel. I painted it, sponged it, painted it, wiped it and painted it again. It was the early 90s, so I distressed the hell out of it. Then my family watched in awe as I glued on a penny, glitter, sand, the ends of Q-tips, crumpled bits of newspaper, even a lock of my own hair, before I declared it finished. They tried to convince me to start over, even offered to buy another plaster angel. But I proudly gave it to my friend, who I suspect promptly tossed it, because I never saw it again.

This Christmas I’ll open the seemingly endless fleet of impeccably wrapped boxes under my family tree and I’ll find designer sweaters, fancy kitchen gadgets and maybe an electronic thing or two. If money, and reality, were no concern, what would I give them in return? An extra hour to sleep in on Saturday, a month-long tour of Italy, time to read, a workshop for all their hobbies, self-maintaining kittens and puppies for the kids, and daily hugs for everyone. Back in the real world, my found-object creations don't exactly look right on the mantle next to the Swarovski’s. And no matter how many button magnets I make, they just slide off of both my parents’ non-magnet-friendly refrigerators. I fear the clutch I made out of a placemat for my aunt last year ended up in her good will bin; and since my machine won’t do leather I can forget about purses for the girls.

I suppose I could score some small cheap gifts but this is not a purely economical situation. Scaling down Christmas is also an attempt to regain some sanity in December, consider more carefully what and why I give, and fight the power of those sentiment fabricators like Hallmark. I can’t convince myself to deal with cranky shoppers, obnoxious signage and the weird commercial drive aroused by all those products, for a pair of socks, or a scarf, or a plastic piece of junk. So how can I overcome my meager resources and flagging gift-giving confidence, still give meaningfully and make everyone happy? Food and booze.

Delicious treats will be my defense against the holiday madness and my pathetic bank account. Lime Meltaways and Earl Grey Tea cookies (thank you Martha), pickled beets, pickled green chilies (thank you Madhur Jaffrey), squid ceviche, and veggie burger mixes (thank you anonymous web poster) – all neatly packaged, jarred and labeled. And what Italian can resist homemade lemon liqueur modeled after the one made famous by the Amalfi coast of Italy? None, I tell you. Although I have a soft spot (clearly not a genetic one) for sentimental handmade trinkets, I must admit the universal power of tasty goodness. From my heart to their stomachs, these nourishing presents will tease their tongues, warm their bellies, and render them a bit tipsy. This year I’ll get to play mad scientist in the kitchen and still indulge my crafty fantasies, all the while restoring the old school kindergarten faith that truthfully, my family will be thrilled by whatever I dream up for them. This year edibles…next year finger-painted portraits of the family pets.

LEMONCELLO RECIPE

The secret to my holiday gifting success: get them drunk

I’m new to homemade alcohol production, but it seems Lemoncello is one of the easiest to pull off. I first tasted it at a friend’s when I spotted the gorgeously frosted Italian glass bottle in her freezer. Recently we received a homemade bottle as a gift and discovered we preferred the home brew. It’s a simple concoction of pure alcohol, lemon peels, sugar and water. Although I’m not a fan of sweet and syrupy, I find Lemoncello refreshing and highly drinkable. I always keep some hidden in the freezer.
-1 liter grain alcohol
-10 medium to large lemons (I snuck in a few extra for added lemon power. Also, try to get unwaxed organic lemons. Since it’s the rinds you need, you’ll have to wash the outside a whole lot if you get regular supermarket variety. Not only are they waxed, they’re subjected to lots of harmful chemicals.)
-1 1/2 liters of water
-3 lbs. of sugar
-a peeler
-a few jars or bottles

I didn’t get organic lemons as prescribed so we had to wash the lemons quite a few times to remove the white stuff, using a sponge and hot water. Peel each lemon, but be careful to remove only the yellow skin, not the white pith underneath. (The white will produce bitter results. We were meticulous but not obsessive about this.) Put the rinds and the alcohol (we used Everclear) in a jar, or jars. (We used a few mason jars and the empty alcohol bottles. If you do it that way, be careful to divide the rinds up appropriately.) Let the mixture sit for at least 10 days, out of direct sunlight. (You could let it stew longer but I wouldn’t try shorter, you’ll lose the lemony kick. I found one recipe that even called for 4 weeks.)

After 10 days, strain the alcohol from the rinds and particles using a very fine sieve or cloth. Next make a simple syrup by combining the water and sugar in a pot. Let it simmer for 15 minutes until the sugar completely and thoroughly dissolves. Let the syrup cool to room temperature and combine with the alcohol. Divide into bottles again for storing or simply drink away. For our presents we’ll be using Groltsch bottles, because they reseal and look pretty. This recipe should fill about seven 12 oz. bottles.

I’ve heard you can also follow this recipe using oranges - arancello. Our next attempt will be with limes or grapefruit. Beware of using vodka in place of the grain alcohol. If you do use vodka the alcohol and rinds will have to sit for much longer and the resulting liqueur seems to lack punch and take on a particularly vodka-ey flavor.

Visit Heather Menicucci's website potluckcraft.com for more great ideas.

See Also

Review: Kids in the Garden
Dyed Fungus: a Tutorial
Seeds of Inspiration